on reco letters and my not-so-good history

i should be writing my brother a recollection letter now, but something came up. as i was looking for a nice envelope to use, i saw and read through past reco letters from my classmates in zobel. grade school until high. and here is one particular letter that bothered me:

Dear Rachel,
Hapi Reco...kung pwede lang talaga, pls. TAMA NA. Minsan lang talaga naiisip ko, bakit lang ako nandito sa mundo e kung mga tao sa paligid ko thinks I'm a big joke? Last year, last, last year...Paulit ulit na lang! Kung pwede lang, kasi, feel ko di na ko nabubuhay ng maayos kasi pinagtatawanan na rin ako...Pero, sometimes, nafoforgive na kita. Like nung ginawa nyo nung Saturday. But it hurts me pag inuulit ulit kasi nararamdaman ko talaga na joke lang talaga ako. So pls. Please. Stop. Please lang talaga. I still consider you as a friend. Nalaman ko na pwede pala kita maging friend nung 1st Quarter. So alam ko, you could be a friend. Thank you. At least, na OK pa tayo mag-usap. Happy Reco and God Bless...

there. i'd rather not write who it's from. this one's from grade school days.. and.. well.. was i that mean?! shoot.

i've forever been a small girl. and i once was a small girl and a bully at the same time, but not that i regret it 100%. frankly, it's a bit of a relief to know that i wasn't at the losing end. still, it's not something to be proud of. and for that, i am truly sorry.. so to you: i hope you could read this, that is, if you still remember what you wrote me.